


Always Be

by orphan_account



Category: Assassin's Creed
Genre: Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag, F/M, M/M, Other, Spoilers!, too many spoilers to tag things, y'all know whats up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-29
Updated: 2014-04-29
Packaged: 2018-01-17 08:30:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 4,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1380883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kenway starts to have bad thoughts about Kidd. Kidd, of course, makes things endlessly complicated and confusing. Pirates, assassins, and spoilers abound. You have been warned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> it's time to d-d-d-d-d-d-write a really terrible love story for AC4. I fuckin' love this game. PS if you haven't played up to AT LEAST sequence 5 in the game, you will get some serious spoilers right about now. Well not so serious, I guessed what was up... but I digress. if you don't want the game given away, get outta here.  
> Title and lyrics taken from "Always Be" by Jimmy Eat World. Thanks for reading, babes!

_It's gonna get harder still before it gets easy_

* * *

Kenway had been introduced to Kidd a few years back. He had only just fallen out of privateering, chasing down dreams that seemed to turn into nothing but tattoos onto his skin, money leaving his pockets as fast as he could find it. He turned pirate for the promise of bigger rewards, big dollars. At that stage, it wasn't going all that well.

Hornigold introduced Kenway to every pirate that passed through, to make sure that Kenway had contacts wherever he might go. It was a decent thing to do, and Kenway had been grateful. At the Nassau tavern, Hornigold had brought over a slight young man, slender and wiry with a sharp face and large eyes, eyes too big for his head. His hair was dark and messy, hidden beneath a bandana, and his clothes were slightly too large for his frame. He didn't look like much but he had a fierce glint in his eyes.

"Edward, this is James Kidd. Kidd, meet Edward Kenway."

Kenway held out his hand to be friendly, but Kidd rolled his eyes and walked back the way he came.

Hornigold shrugged. "He can be like that. Don't take it personal."

Kenway tried not to.


	2. Chapter 2

_You can't keep safe what wants to break_

* * *

 

Their next few meetings went similarly until they actually worked a job together. A simple enough task - stealing a load of crates from a warehouse not far from Nassau. Edward's previous attempts at theft had gone spectacularly wrong, but this one went well. Kidd was light on his feet and silent, and Edward learned more than a few tricks from the young lad that day, like how to drag a man silently away from his post, make sure to move without being seen, and how to pick a man's pocket without even letting on you were there.

Kenway had been impressed. And when he said as much, Kidd gave his first smile - a sly smirk, little more than a twitch of his lips. But it was enough for Kenway. He patted the youth on the back and laughed, in a fine mood after their successful heist. Nothing could get his spirits down, not even Kidd's sharp tongue or serious attitude. They drank plenty that night and Kenway began to consider Kidd a friend.

Unfortunately, Kidd did not trust as easy. Even though they were able to work together quite successfully after that, Kidd remained much the same. He talked a litte more and gave Edward more information than some of the others, but other than that treated him like the mere mortal he was. Kenway put it down to Kidd's nature - quiet, cautious and cunning. He didn't take it personally, just as Hornigold had told him.

Of course, he didn't realise when he stole the Assassin's clothes that he would get to know Kidd any better. How was he supposed to know the lad was part of some secret society? It was madness. But when Kenway chased Kidd down and demanded answers for his questions, Kidd threw his hands up in the air and sighed, muttering about how ignorant Edward was. Still, they spent several weeks together on that island, discovering the secrets of the Mayan ruins and figuring out their plan of action for taking down the Templars.

And Edward didn't know why - it might have been that he hadn't seen his wife in a long time, or any other woman for that matter; perhaps it was being surrounded by strangers who disliked and distrusted him - but he found himself seeking out Kidd, looking forward to their meetings, enjoying the time they spent together. Kenway had no others to turn to with his questions and Kidd, despite the endless sarcasm, did his best to help Edward understand. 

And slowly, Edward realised that the pounding in his chest was not unlike that he felt when he was with a woman. He left for Nassau the next day and tried not to think too much on it.


	3. Chapter 3

_I was just a boy like every other_

* * *

Kenway gave the matter no thought until he met with Kidd again to take Great Inagua. When the fort had been taken, the two of them were sitting on the beach, watching ships flee from the bay, watching their crews cheer with excitement and sing songs of glory. It wasn't quite a glorious place, not just yet - but as Edward reclined and pointed out along the beach and town to show Kidd where he would build the tavern and the shipyard and the store, he realised that he had settled very easily into Kidd's company, not thinking once about the way he felt and how wrong it was. At least, not til that minute.

"Alright, Kenway?" asked Kidd, when the other didn't speak for a moment, losing his train of thought.

Edward cleared his throat. "Yeah. I'm fine. Exhausted."

"Go get some rest," said Kidd, standing up.

"No, wait," said Kenway, shoving his empty bottle into the sand. "I must ask something of you, Kidd."

"Go on."

"I - do you consider us friends, James?"

The younger man frowned. "I don't make friends often,  _Edward_."

"I know that. I want to know if we trust each other."

"Should I not?"

Kenway scowled. "Stop twisting my words, damnit! I just want to know that I can trust you. It's not often I make friends, either, I usually end up robbing or killing them. I want there to be at least one man in the world I can rely on."

Kidd raised an eyebrow. "So what you're sayin' is you want a friend who won't rob or kill you?"

"Aye. Does that sound reasonable?"

When Kidd smiled, Edward felt his breath catch in his throat and he felt foolish. Kidd said, "If I'd have wanted to kill you, Kenway, I'd've done it already. You have no cause to worry about me double-crossin' you." The younger held his hand out to help Edward to his feet, and when he rose they were standing chest to chest. Kidd was still smiling and it was a strange and beautiful thing.

"That's a relief," said Kenway, grinning, trying to shake the feeling that he was falling for Kidd. For a man. A teenage boy, no less. It was foolish and ridiculous. But Edward's eyes glanced down to Kidd's lips, the sharp teeth behind the smile, and in less than a heartbeat, Kenway had one hand on the back of Kidd's neck and had pulled him in to press his mouth to Kidd's.

It lasted barely two seconds. Kidd made a startled noise before shoving Kenway with a surprising amount of strength, and spitting on the sand at their feet. "What are you playing at, Kenway?" he snapped, before striding away.

Kenway could see the heat rising on the younger man's skin but he knew better than to follow him. It had been a stupid thing to do. Being somebody's friend doesn't mean you get to invade their privacy. But he was drunk and confused, he didn't know what to do. He was even more confused when he spent himself in a whore later that night, unable to shake Kidd's face, lips, eyes from his mind. He came with Kidd's name on his tongue.


	4. Chapter 4

_I thought I was something fierce, I thought I was ten times smarter_

* * *

When Kenway saw James the next morning he tried to catch him to speak with him, explain himself. If he could try to make himself understood, perhaps Kidd might forgive him. Or pretend it didn't happen. Either one would be alright. Unfortunately, when Kidd saw him coming, the youth ducked into an alley, avoiding him, blanking him completely, not even giving Kenway a mild snarl. It was disconcerting.

"Hey, Kidd," Kenway said, louder, falling into step with the younger man. "I want a word."

"Piss off," said Kidd calmly. "I ain't got time."

"Won't take a second, c'mon," said Kenway. "Look, just - for fuck's sake, Kidd, listen to me -"

He reached out to grasp Kidd's arm and a second later the back of Kidd's hand made contact with his face, sending him spinning to the floor. "Don't touch me, pervert," snapped Kidd.

"I'm not a pervert," said Edward sternly, pushing himself off the ground. "I was drunk."

"That's no excuse."

"I'm not trying to excuse myself, I know what I did was wrong. I just wanted to apologise."

"It weren't decent," said Kidd, eyes burning fiercely. "All that talk about trust and then you go and do somethin' like that."

"I know," said Edward. "I'm sorry. It was wrong of me."

He didn't look away from Kidd's eyes, wanting to show he was sincere. 

Kidd stared right back. "You don't know me near well enough to want me in your bed, Kenway. And I might trust you with me ships, but I sure as fuck don't trust you any further'n that."

Kenway frowned. "I know you, Kidd. Better than most."

"You think you do. You don't know nothin'."

Kidd turned to go but Kenway stopped him, cornering him off. "If you're keeping more secrets from me, lad, you better tell me now, 'fore they cause more harm than good."

James' eyes narrowed. "I keep secrets to protect myself, an' that's all. And if you care about me so much,  _friend_ , you'll leave it be." He shoved Kenway's shoulder out of the way and continued on and out the alley, and Edward was left only a little more confused than he had been before. The lad was strange.


	5. Chapter 5

_Love would be something that I just know_

* * *

The two of them went about their business easily after that. The few encounters they had were brief and neither of them mentioned that night again. It was easy sailing and they even managed to drink together and sail together a few times without having a spat. Their endeavours were often successful - Edward was helping the Assassin's order, passing information between the islands and helping protect those in danger from the Templars. He often found himself crossing path with Kidd who was doing much the same, only Kidd had an easier time with the Assassins because they already knew him. 

The next time they met was at Tortuga, when Kidd turned up to find Kenway had already raided the warehouses there. "Always faster'n you, Kidd," joked Kenway, and Kidd rolled his eyes. 

"Only on the seas, mate. Couldn't beat me in a race on foot."

"I'll not argue with that. Headed back to Inagua?"

"Only if I can't find anythin' good on the way back."

Kenway laughed. "See you there, Kidd."

A few days later, Kenway was at the big house on Inagua when he spotted Kidd's ship pulling into the bay. It wasn't long after that Kidd turned up at the house, making his way in through a window.

"Couldn't use the front door every now and then, could ya?" asked Kenway, when Kidd slunk into his office.

"Don't like your doorman."

"He don't like you much either," said Kenway, grinning. "How've you been?"

Kidd sank into a chair opposite Kenway. "Not bad. You're well, I take it?"

"Well as can be. Making a fair bit of coin from those assassin contracts."

"I heard you'd been takin' a few of them," said Kidd, pouring himself a glass of Edward's wine. "You're makin' a name for yourself."

"A good name, I hope."

"Hardly."

Kenway laughed at Kidd's dry humour, and the youth gave a small smile.

They finished the bottle between them, talking into the night until the rabble of the bonfire party and the tavern quieted down. The island fell into a silent state, the sounds of birds and animals all but gone, only the soft noises of insects and the ocean floating in through the open windows. Kenway felt himself slipping into his bad habits - staring at Kidd's mouth, watching his hands move, fingers tapping on the chair, counting the faint freckles on his face. Edward knew he was drunk, but this time he knew he wasn't about to do anything stupid. He'd learnt last time that it wasn't worth it, not worth losing Kidd's trust all over again.

That was until Kidd stood up and wandered around the desk to seat himself in Kenway's lap. Kenway was slow to react. He blinked and tried to make sense of what was going on, but before he could the youth had both hands on Kenway's face and was kissing him. It wasn't slow or gentle - Kidd bit into James' lower lip and pulled hard, before shoving his tongue between Kenway's teeth and drawing a long groan from the blonde.

Kenway's hands drifted to Kidd's hips and gripped tight, his eyes slipping closed as he tasted the sweet wine on Kidd's lips, felt his tongue, his teeth, his breath. Kenway wished this had been their first kiss. It was so much better in every way, and Kidd was pressing down onto Kenway's lap, grinding on him, sending the blood south. Edward groaned and grasped a hold of Kidd's dark hair, pulling it back to mouth at the soft skin of his neck, his beard leaving red marks on the pale flesh.

"Had a change of heart?" murmured Kenway.

"Had a bottle of wine."

Kenway wasn't really paying attention, and he slipped his hand down Kidd's leg, making for the front of his pants, but his hand was intercepted and shoved away. "Ah-ah. I like you, but I don't like you that much," said Kidd, grinning.

Edward groaned. "So you're just gonna sit there lookin' pretty and not let me touch you?"

"That's not all I'm gonna do," said Kidd, quietly. Edward looked up to see James' eyes dancing down over his face, his mouth, his neck.

"What else have you got in mind, then?"

"Keep quiet for a moment and you might find out." He ducked down and bit at Kenway's lower lip again, playfully, before sliding off his lap and onto the floor.

When Kidd's hands began to pull at his breeches, Kenway swore beneath his breath. He watched the youth tug at the ties and push the offending material to the side, before tugging Kenway's swiftly hardening cock from the confines. It was only in the open for a moment before it was sliding into Kidd's mouth, his lips wet and soft and his mouth hot and his tongue smooth against the sensitive heat peeking out from the foreskin, showing more as Kenway became even harder.

"Fuck," he breathed, staring down at the lad going to work on his cock. "Where'd you learn to do such sinful things, James?"

Kidd pulled away just far enough to speak. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you." He grinned.

Kenway's hand slipped back around the boy's neck. "That was rhetorical."

"Rude," said Kidd, but let himself be pulled back on to Kenway's cock. His tongue was twisting and sliding around Kenway's length, and Kenway had to grasp onto his chair to stop from thrusting up into the young captain's mouth. He groaned long and loud, forcing himself to keep his eyes open just to watch Kidd's mouth wrapped around his cock, stroking and caressing every inch of him, jaw locked open around the girth of him.

It wasn't long before Kenway was coming, and this time he couldn't stop his hips from jerking forwards, his body shuddering as he came into Kidd's hot mouth. Kidd hadn't been expecting it and he pulled away to spit the seed out onto the floor, wiping his mouth on the back of his sleeve.

"Bit of warnin' wouldn't've gone unwanted," said Kidd, slightly put out. Kenway was in too much of a daze to even care about being reprimanded. He grasped Kidd's arm and easily hoisted him back up onto his lap, and his large hand slid down to grasp onto the youth's behind.

"I'll make it up to you," he said, with a lazy smile.

Kidd grinned back, but pushed away to stand up. "I'm sure you will."

Kenway frowned. "Are you not staying?"

"I have other matters to take care of." He wasn't being mean, or harsh. He spoke honestly, in a softer voice than before.

"Matters more important than letting me satisfy you?" Kenway stood up too, and tucked himself back into his breeches with a slight wince. He was very sensitive. He hadn't come that hard in a long time.

Kidd gave another smile. "I'd like nothin' more than that, believe me." Without any further explanation, he picked up his things from the desk and made his way back outside, leaving Kenway dazed and confused and alone in the study.


	6. Chapter 6

_How you gonna know the feeling til you've lost it?  
I've been losing plenty since_

* * *

Kidd was leaning against the barracks of the fort they had just captured, staring out over the open ocean before him. The wind had picked up speed and carried the sound of Kenway's boots in the other direction, and he took the chance to creep up on the lad. He smirked as he came within two feet of Kidd. He reached out and placed both hands on the lad's hips, and pressed himself up against him. "Pretty young boys shouldn't wander about all alone," he said lowly, lips pressed against Kidd's slender neck.

A moment later Kidd had spun in Kenway's grip, grasping the front of his jacket and making to throw him over the wall. 

"Whoa! Hey, Kidd, it's me!" shouted Kenway as he lost his balance, nearly toppling over the bricks.

Kidd snarled and threw him down at his feet. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Just messing with you, Kidd," laughed Edward, unable to keep a straight face as he watched Kidd's grow darker. "You should see yourself."

"You should see what happens to men who touch me without my permission," snapped Kidd, taking out his pistol.

Kenway held up his hands. "Wait, Kidd, I -"

His sentence was cut short as Kidd struck him across the face with the pistol, splitting the skin open on his cheek. Kenway drew a sharp breath, the shock hiding the hurt for a moment. But only a moment. As hot blood trickled down his dirty face, pain burst through his flesh, and he winced before looking up at Kidd. 

Kenway had never seen him so angry. "Me suckin' your cock wasn't an invitation to take whatever you wanted, whenever you wanted it. You don't touch me without my say-so, Kenway. And certainly not where others can see. Next time you do, I'll use the pistol proper, you hear?"

He didn't wait for Kenway's response before walking away, leaving the pirate mildly concussed. Kenway was beginning to see a pattern to their relationship.


	7. Chapter 7

_I'm alone in this, I'm all as I've always been_   
_Right behind what's happening_

* * *

Later that evening, Kenway was about to sleep in his quarters when there was a knock at the door. He called out, "Come in. Wasn't like I was about to sleep or nothing."

He turned over to see Kidd standing in the door. Kenway tried to scowl at him but his face hurt from the cut, still fresh and still sore.

"What do you want?"

"I wanted to apologise," said Kidd simply, shutting the door. "I reacted badly. But you gotta understand why, Kenway - I don't trust anybody. Not those who hold my life in their hands, not my comrades, not even meself sometimes." He came closer, and leaned against the desk. "And I'm tryin' to trust you, Edward. I really am. But being out at sea made me -  _wary_. Even at the best of times."

Kenway hadn't considered that Kidd might have had to fight off others who wanted him for his body or some service it might provide. He hadn't even thought about the fact that others would find Kidd attractive in the same way he had. Who else had tried to take James for themselves? Who else had broken his trust?

"It's alright, James," he sighed. "It was stupid of me. I shouldn't -"

"I did mean what I said, though," said Kidd, cutting Kenway off. "I don't want you touchin' me without permission."

"I won't."

"Not even if I'm touchin' you."

Kenway frowned. "What?"

"You heard."

"Oh, so I'm your whore now?"

Kidd smiled, teeth flashing bright through the dark room. "Only if it's  _my_  cock in  _your_  mouth."

Kenway caught the drift and smiled back. "What, so I'm your personal plaything now, eh?"

"Why?" asked Kidd slyly. "Are you complaining?"

"Not at all."

Kenway was grateful that this time, at least, Kidd hadn't left him confused and alone. But he was concerned that the crew might hear the shouts and groans coming from their Captain's cabin.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here there be spoilers

_She's all lost in this, she's all like she'll always be_   
_A little far for me to reach_

* * *

Their relationship continued like this for a few months: whenever Kenway and Kidd were on the same island or in the same port, they would spent the night together, Kenway keeping his hands behind his head as Kidd took from him what he wanted. Despite the fact Kenway wanted so badly to touch Kidd and see the slender body beneath his oversized clothes, he was willing to wait until Kidd was ready, until he was sure.

He did not expect Kidd to be ready anytime soon. Nor did he expect Kidd to be a woman.

Even after they had killed Prins and returned to the room Kenway had hired, he was confused. He had spent so long believing that Kidd was - that  _Mary_ was a man. She hadn't even told him the truth before taking his pants off. As he watched her shrug off her jacket and throw it over a chair, Kenway shook his head. Kidd was so damn  _confusing_.

"Alright?" asked Kidd.

"Still in shock, I think," replied Kenway.

Kidd smirked. It was the same face, the same person Kenway had always known. But it was all very different now.

"Now you understand why I couldn't have you looking under my clothes," said Kidd. 

"I still don't understand why you wanted to look under mine."

"It's very simple, Kenway," replied Kidd. "I think you're handsome. Most girls do."

Kenway rolled his eyes. "You hardly classify as a  _girl_."

"Well I'm certainly not a lady," said Kidd, grinning. 

Kenway sat himself down on a chair and stared at the woman wearing Kidd's face. Or was it Kidd, wearing a woman's face? "How long have you been playing this little game then, lass?" asked Kenway, as he took the bottle of rum from the table beside him and uncorked it, taking a swig.

"My mother dressed me as a boy when I was a child. Made sure to get money from my grandparents. I didn't have any friends when I was young, so I thought I was a boy until I was fourteen. Went to bed with a girl and she called me a liar," she explained with a small smile, as she went about putting her weapons away and cleaning the blood from her blades. "I didn't think it made me any different, but it did. I couldn't be a girl and still be me, but I couldn't be a boy neither."

"So what are you, then?" asked Kenway. 

"A bit of both, I suppose," replied Kidd. 

"Do you want me to call you Mary?"

"Do as you please. Just don't call me Mary in public."

"Of course."

Kidd finished with her weapons and sat down opposite Edward. "Do you think we can still spend time together?"

Kenway thought it over for a moment before responding. "I don't see why not. You're still the same person. But - would you let me touch you, now? Now that I know?"

Kidd pushed her hair back. "I don't know. I wouldn't know how."

Kenway nearly choked on the rum in his mouth, and had to put the bottle down and try not to cough too loudly. Kidd stared at him strangely. When he spoke again, his voice was raspy. "You mean to say - you've never - not with anyone?"

"With women. Not with men. Like I said, I grew up thinkin' I was a boy. It seemed right to be with girls."

"But never with a man?"

"I've done as much with you as I've done with any other," said Kidd. "Bein' a young boy on a ship makes you a target. I learned quickly how keep safe."

"By using your mouth?" asked Kenway.

"It was a compromise that most men were happy to take. And any that sought to take more were quickly deterred," she said, smirking. 

Kenway smiled, too. "I can imagine. Was I not the first man you tried to throw from the barracks?"

"Not the first and probably won't be the last." She took the bottle from him and took a drink.

Kenway watched Kidd's lips pressing against the bottle and shifted in his seat. "So will you ever let on? Tell the world what you are?"

"I don't think I like the idea of bein' a woman. I like who I am now."

"You can still be who you are and be a woman."

Kidd gave Kenway a blank look. "That's a stupid thing to say, Edward. Course I can't. Y'think any of my men would keep on callin' me Captain if they knew I was a girl?"

"Being a woman doesn't mean you can't be a good captain."

"No, but it means I won't have a crew or ship. Don't bother yourself about it, I've already decided it's never goin' to happen. Nobody wants to know another Mary. James Kidd is the only one worth followin'."

Despite the fact Kidd spoke with authority, her brow was low and her mouth twisted at the corner as she spoke. She wasn't pleased with her situation. She didn't have any confidence as a woman. Kenway wasn't sure what came over him - whether it was a rush of empathy or simply drunkenness - but he stood and pulled Kidd to her feet and kissed her. She went rigid for a moment, uncertain and taken by surprise. Kenway's hand moved smoothly across her lower back and his lips moved slowly and carefully. She flinched when he stroked her hair.

She pushed him away. "It's not the same," she said, and Kenway could see her face fall.

"I'm just trying to help," said Edward, unsure of what else to say.

"You're treatin' me like I'm a weakling."

"I didn't want to hurt you -"

"You never hurt me before!" said Kidd. "I'm not gonna break. I won't break."

He reached out to her but she slapped his hand away and said, "Just go home, Kenway." She didn't say it cruelly. She sounded tired. 

"When will I see you again?" he asked.

When Kidd didn't reply, he decided not to push it. He wanted to say a lot of things. He wanted to say that it wasn't fair and it wasn't his fault, but it wasn't really her fault either. So he said nothing, and left.


End file.
